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The Girl In the Mirror

Friday, July 13, 2012

1:42PM - Home :)

Glad to be heading home for a visit. I miss seeing my family. I hope it doesn't rain the whole time. Going to the Watermelon Festival tomorrow. I hope I get a lot of candy :)))

Posted via LiveJournal app for iPhone.

Monday, December 19, 2011

10:56PM - Cookie Monster!!!

Loving my new socks :))

Posted via LiveJournal app for iPhone.

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

11:02PM - PISCES Oct, 11, 2011


"You may be wracking your brain over a particular problem now, Pisces. You may even be putting yourself down for your inability to solve it. But it is this cycle of criticizing yourself that's probably your biggest obstacle to finding a resolution. Go easier on yourself. You may now be regretting some choices you made in the past year or so. You're dealing with the aftermath of those choices, and it may not be easy. The fact that you made those choices may have left you feeling mistrustful of your judgment. But just because you made mistakes in the past doesn't guarantee future mistakes. Believe in yourself. You can blaze a new trail now if you want to"

Posted via LiveJournal app for iPhone.

Wednesday, August 3, 2011

9:26AM

Life never seems to work out how you plan. I guess fate has another plan for me, so I just have to sit back and enjoy the ride. I wonder where it's gonna take me.

Posted via LiveJournal app for iPhone.

Friday, June 17, 2011

12:25AM - Porch time

Enjoying some good ole porch time and cartoons. What a good night :)

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Sunday, March 6, 2011

6:55PM

haven't been on here in forever...............how's everyone doing? 

Thursday, January 14, 2010

7:35PM

how many people still use this?

Monday, January 26, 2009

10:56AM - school blues

I'm so tired of being in school. I have one more semester left after this and I don't know if I can make it. I'm beginning to feel that it's pointless. I'm stressing myself out constantly...and for what? Will I really end up with a job in the field that I'm going to college for.....probably not. I'm a mass communications major and I don't think that I'm any good at it. If I didn't have my broadcast class this semester then I probably wouldn't be so stressed out. It's the third week of school and I'm ready to throw in the towel. I was ready the day she handed us the syllabus. 6 PACKAGES.....that's what we have to do....and produce shows. I can't even think of a topic for 1 package...let alone 6. Plus I have to drag around the camera and the tripod...begging people to let me interview them. I've been having trouble sleeping. I lay awake at night driving myself crazy trying to think of topics. My teacher will probably think I'm lazy because I don't have a topic. She's trying to get us ready for the real world, but I don't think it's for me. I don't have the skills needed. It's too much for me.

I don't think I can do it, but I have to. It's too late in the game to change my major. I'm just ready to be done. I think I suck at journalism. I can't seem to get an A on anything that I turn in. It's always B's or C's. What chance do I have in the real world with grades like that.

I feel like I've wasted 4 years of my life in college. I can't remember anything that I've learned really. I got A's in French, but I can't remember a word of it. I still suck at math. I can't remember much from History. That's sad....isn't it? I've gone into debt just to say that I graduate from college. I have nothing else to show for all the years of stress. I have no passion for learning anymore. I've loss my love of writing. College has sucked the life out of me. Is it over yet?

Uugggghhhh......my hives are pissing me off. They are huge. My arm feels like Braille. I feel so ugly. Everyday I wake up and there are more. They won't go away. Even when the itching stops...there are scars. I'm covered in scars. How am I beautiful if I'm covered in these ugly scars? I don't feel beautiful at all. :(

Current mood: moody

Tuesday, January 1, 2008

10:42PM - bad year

I can't handle all this stress. People don't make any sense. I try to be nice and friendly and giving but in the end it doesn't matter. I end up being the one left stressed out and crying. I shouldn't have to choose between people that I care about. We should all be able to get along. Why am i always trapped in the middle of the drama? Why do people have to be so stubborn? Why can't people be considerate and see things from other people's perspectives? Why can't people be willing to compromise? How can some people be so inconsiderate and selfish? If someone is doing you a favor and going out of their way to do something for you then you should be thankful to have them in your life. You should be grateful that you have someone who puts up with all your shit. You shouldn't take your anger out on them. You should appreciate all that they do for you. You should realize that sometimes you ask too much of them.

i'm tired of being stressed. i'm tired of being the "glue." i'm tired of the drama. from what i've experienced so far, this year is going to suck...................

Friday, March 30, 2007

8:14PM - ALYCIA HAD HER BABY!!!!!!

ALYCIA HAD HER BABY TODAY AT 4:10PM. HE'S A HEALTHY BABY BOY. HIS NAME IS CONNOR JOSEPH BELL. HE WEIGHS 7 POUNDS AND 5 OUNCES. HE IS PRECIOUS AND HE LOOKS JUST LIKE HIS DADDY.
SHE IS DOING GOOD. GIVE HER A CALL IF YOU WANT TO CHECK ON HER.

Current mood: happy

Friday, March 2, 2007

4:02PM - i'm still alive

Life has been okay. My birthday wasn't what i expected it to be. i want people to make a big deal about the fact that i exist, but no one seems to care. I wanted a party or something. i don't know....it's hard to explain. Kevin is the only reason that my birthday was special. I love him. He's awesome. He walked all the way from the dorm to bring me Skittles. He got me a cake and took me out to dinner. He was the only one that cared and made a big deal about it.

I'm one year older, but i don't feel any different. I have no clue what i want to do with the rest of my life. I'm not any closer to figuring out who i am. i haven't learned anything new about myself. i'm stil the same person. i'm trying to work on all my flaws, but so far that's not going so well. it's hard to change the way that you are.

I'm so ready for school to end. I've been a frequent passenger on the slack train. I'm always so tired. I hate going to class. Attendance to some of my classes just seems pointless. the teachers put the notes online.

I feel so lazy all the time. I don't enjoy work anymore. Well...i do but i don't all at the same time. I hate going to work, but once i'm there, i'm okay. I need more money though, so i guess it's time to find something else.

Current mood: blah

Tuesday, November 14, 2006

3:05PM

I'm so freaking tired. i think all in all i got maybe 6 hours of sleep this whole weekend. i feel like i have so much shit to do and not enough time to do it.

Saturday, October 21, 2006

9:18PM

hmmm......last night seems to be lost in a blur of drunkeness. i'm never drinking like that again. at least i had fun and i looked really HOTT!!

Current mood: drained

Thursday, October 12, 2006

10:46PM - why.....

why am i so confused? i don't know what's right or wrong anymore.....i'm lost. i try to be this good person who looks out for others but people still feel the need to walk all over me. i give and i give and i give...but it's never enough....they always want more, but i don't have that much left to give. i hate pretending like i have my live together because on the inside i'm just numb. there's too much going on....i feel ike i'm spiraling down a dark tunnel. she wants more. the others unintentionally make me feel guilty  because i have more. i love him but i can't see him like i want to. i love him...but he doesn't love me the way i love him but i can see that he cares. i want to be there for her but she annoys me with her lack of respect for my feelings. nothing makes me whole.......i'm empty. i wanna be able to just let go.....but i'm afraid. i'm afraid of what will happen. i'm afraid to fully love him......i'm afraid to let go of him. i'm afraid to let her fully take advantage of me and take everything that i have. i want to help her....but they say that i'm a sucker and that she's walking all over me. who do i listen to?

Current mood: depressed

Tuesday, October 3, 2006

1:44AM

He loves me......and that makes me so damn happy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I miss him so much. i wish i could see him everyday.

 

i just felt like shouting that...but i didn't want to wake the neighbors...so i typed it instead.

Current mood: giggly

Tuesday, September 19, 2006

2:07PM - today was a weird day.................

today was a really weird day. i stayed up until like 3am.....trying to study for biology with the fish. we both realized it was pointless.........it's so sad when you realize that you lack motivation to do things. this morning was a mad dash to get to class on time just to fail a test. sad times indeed. I got a visit from the crap. hmmm.......he still gets under my skin and i hate that. it was nice to see him though cuz i haven't seen him in like 4 months. (that bitch). man i can't wait until next weekend.....when i finally get to see the fro. i've missed him dearly. he definitly needs to come and see me. well...i gotta go. mass comm. is calling for me.

Thursday, September 14, 2006

9:05PM - the best song ever

Christina Aguilera "Save me from myself"

It's not so easy loving me
It gets so complicated
All the things you've gotta be
Everything's changin
But you're the truth
I'm amazed by all your patience
Everything I put you through

When I'm about to fall
Somehow you're always waitin
with your open arms to catch me
You're gonna save me from myself
from myself, yes
You're gonna save me from myself

My love is tainted by your touch
Cuz some guys have shown me aces
But you've got that royal flush
I know it's crazy everyday
Well tomorrow may be shaky
But you never turn away

Don't ask me why I'm cryin
Cuz when I start to crumble
You know how to keep me smilin
You always save me from myself
from myself, myself
You're gonna save me from myself

I know it's hard, it's hard
But you've broken all my walls
You've been my strength, so strong

And don't ask me why I love you
It's obvious your tenderness
Is what I need to make me
a better woman to myself
to myself, myself
You're gonna save me from myself

8:59PM - sweet

this is one of my favorite songs right now


Christina Aguilera Nasty Naughty Boy

come here big boy
ahh, mmmhmm, yeah

you've been a bad bad boy
i'm gonna take my time, so enjoy
there's no need to feel no shame
relax and sip upon my champagne
'cause I wanna give you a little taste
of the sugar below my waist, you nasty boy

i'll give you some oh-la-la
voulez vous coucher avec moi?
i got you breaking into a sweat
got you hot, bothered, and wet
you nasty boy

nasty naughty boy

oh baby for all it's worth
i swear i'll be the first to blow your mind
now if you're ready, come and get me
i'll give you that hot, sweet, sexy loving (loving)

hush now, don't say a word
i'm gonna give you what you deserve
now you better give me a little taste
put your icing on my cake
you nasty boy

oh no, oh there I go again
i need a spanking, 'cause i've been bad
so let my body do the talkin'
i'll slip you that hot, sweet, sexy loving

ohh ha!
come on daddy!
ohh ohh, ohh ohh oh yeah
oh yeaah oh, come on, sugar

i got you breaking into a sweat
got you hot, bothered, and wet
you nasty boy

nasty naughty boy
naughty boy

oh baby for all it's worth
i swear i'll be the first to blow your mind
now that you're ready, give it to me
just give me that hot, sweet, sexy loving

now give me a little spanking
ohh, ohh, is that all you've got?
come on now, don't play with me

oh give me that hot, sweet, nasty
boy don't you make me wait
now you better give me a little taste
put your icing on my cake
you nasty boy

mmmm

Sunday, September 3, 2006

5:40PM

so now that school has started it would seem that i would have stuff to do, how wrong that idea is. i'm so bored. alycia and i get bored all the time. we try to cure our boredom with movies, random trips to canes and blockbuster, and searches for food, but nothing seems to work. boys are just confusing the hell out of me right now. friends liking friends. guys coming in and out of my life, and then back in again. me...becoming someone that i don't know anymore. i've been doing things that i never thought that i would ever do, things that i can't believe that i did. the past couple of weekends have just been so fucking weird.  i think that my recent situations are caused by certain people...or a certain someone. i shared something with this person and now i'm having withdrawals.  i'm trying to figure out what all the guys in my life want from me. i think some are just lusting while others keep looking to me to help them solve their love drama. i don't know. i can't even understand my life. i'm trying to figure out who i am. i have to understand me before i can't let other people in. oh...so why does eveyone kept trying to be my "friend with benefits?" what the hell is up with that? as if i don't have enough shit going on. my heart still belongs to certain people and they know who they are. i'm trying to help other people deal with the changes that are going on in their lives and i'm trying to avoid the changes that are going on in my own life. i know i know...i shouldn't do that, but everyone likes distractions.

Friday, August 18, 2006

12:33AM - this is how i feel

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

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